Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Original paintings on eBay!!!

Fearlessness and focus. Two things I'm working on in all aspects of my life. This is not a New Year's resolution (I don't believe in those--I think they set you up for failure), but a long-term resolve. Something I've been working on for a long time now. Qualities that I know exist within me, but that I sometimes have a hard time digging out and utilizing. I have inspiration and support, and lots more to talk about on this subject, but for now I want to keep it about my business as an artist.

What does this have to do with selling paintings on eBay? A lot. For a long time, all of my adult life, I can safely say, I have been struggling to make my art my central focus. And no wonder. I had my daughter at 24 years old, while I was still finishing school, left her dad 3 years later, and worked one crappy job after the next for what seemed like ever trying to make ends meet. I was trapped in that void of single-mom-working-raising baby-no-time-for-myself-land. Finally I was able to work for myself, but the ends-meeting part was, and is, still a bit of a mystery to me.

So is the focus. I feel as though I am constantly pulled between 2 equally strong yet opposing forces: making money and making art. In between those two forces are many other competing realities--for example, having control over my own time so that I CAN make art and so that I can spend quality time with my daughter vs. working a "real" job, making (theoretically) better money and (theoretically) getting benefits but having to depend on daycare to raise my daughter and having no energy left for my art. I choose to continue working for myself, but I am constantly fighting the urge to accept every single opportunity at the cost of focusing on my art. When I fall into that trap, I am driven by fear. Namely, fear that I won't be able to pay the rent.

At the same time, somewhere inside I KNOW that making money and making art don't have to be opposing forces! So one of my primary goals for 2010 is to work harder than ever before on merging the two. Next time I'll tell you some of the steps I've already taken in that direction, and I'll keep you updated for the year. Think of this post as a little introduction :) In the meantime, help support my work and score yourself an awesome deal by bidding on my one of a kind, original paintings on eBay. A great big fearless step for little me, putting them there!

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